PTR

Therapy is like a Life Jacket

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People usually seek therapy because they’re going through some type of crisis in their lives.  That’s why I sometimes tell my patients to view therapy like a “life jacket.”  

A life jacket will help you survive when the boat overturns but you’re not going to wear it every minute for the rest of your life.  

What you should do is take the opportunity the life jacket has provided to learn how to avoid capsizing again.

 

The “Wade Through the Swamp” Metaphor

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Suppose you love mountain climbing and one day you set out to summit a peak you’ve been admiring for years.  But when you get close to the mountain’s base you discover it’s completely surrounded by a swamp. This is a big surprise.  No one told you about it.  Now you’ll have to trudge through this icky mess before you can even start your climb.  

You don’t like this situation, but you decide to suck it up and wade through the swamp because getting to the top of this mountain really matters to you.  

All of us have things that are important to us: families, careers, causes. However, we inevitably have times when we face negative emotions related to these things: fear for our loved ones, uncertainties about our careers, and anger towards those who don’t support our causes.  

But if these things really matter to us we persevere.  We understand that sometimes we have to wade through the swamp of negative emotions to get to the mountain top.

Don’t let unpleasant emotions stop you.  They’re part and parcel of living a full life.

Our Pasts

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Our lives are defined by the things we learn in our pasts.  Many are helpful: “Don’t touch that hot stove” or “Tell the truth.”  But some of the beliefs we internalize are quite harmful: “You’re damaged goods” or “You’re not good/smart/pretty enough to do that.”  

Our brain is constantly pumping out thoughts, like our heart is pumping out blood.  But these thoughts are not all of equal value.  Work to see the difference.  

Dr. William Osler, one of the founders of Johns Hopkins Medical School, may have said it best: “Shut out all of your past except that which will help you weather your tomorrows.”