PTR

Yelling Seldom Helps

By

Unfortunately, almost all parents yell at their kids.  But the simple reality is yelling (and nagging) is likely to be ignored or provoke angry confrontations.  Neither of these outcomes improves the relationship between parent and child.

What to do?

Plan.  

Look at problems logically.  Figure out ways to encourage your child rather than just punish them.  Write these down so you’ll remember, then talk about it with your child.  Finally, and this is critical, DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO!! 

 

Comparisons

By

We often gauge our success in comparison with others and we almost always “compare up.”  Unfortunately, this can be a recipe for unhappiness.

It’s better to figure out what matters to YOU and bring your attention and focus back to that, not to what someone else is doing.  Being “self-referential” means to focus more on YOUR behavior and YOUR personal goals than on the performance of someone else.

Ways our parenting roles change.

By

Older children often require a different type of parenting.  Since adolescence is described as an “independence seeking” stage it’s often better for a parent to take a step back.  Giving an older child some “space” can actually make it more likely that they will ask you for advice and help.

But, be careful.

It’s fine to help your child problem-solve but it does them little good to repeatedly rescue them.